Wednesday, February 03 2010 @ 04:43 PM GMT
Contributed by: Admin
Satirical letter to Infinity Ward by jdough4
Good Morning IW, We need to talk about last night...
Lets face it, it was horrible. I don't know any other way to say this - its not me, its you IW.
Look, I'm not going to say we haven't had fun, because we have. But, it hasn't been easy.
I've put up with your quirks and bad behavior. I've done everything I could do to make this work and I think it could still work, maybe, if I could just see some effort from you to make it work.
I've not news for you IW. Our relationship isn't just about you, its about me too. So far, it seems like I'm the one doing most of the work trying to keep this going. I've spend hours forwarding ports and reading message boards trying to improve our connection. If you'd just give me a clue what you want it would be easier. But no, I have to hear it off the street - "IW likes it when you put on the uPnP and if you go DMZ - ooooohhh baby!"
How do you think it makes me feel to have to hear that from a stranger instead of from you?
Speaking of strangers. I'm tired of your promiscuity with these hackers. Oh sure, you tell me, "Honey, you know I don't do that with other guys" But we both know that just isn't true. I feel like I need to wear a latex bodysuit or something. Franky, I'm afraid I'll catch something from you now.
Which brings us to last night. Were you on drugs? One minute you would spaz out, the next you were moving really slow. We could talk for a second and then you'd just shut down on me. Then start up again like nothing was wrong, but babble some kind of gibberish about a playlist at me over and over and over again.
I hate to say it IW, because we have had some good times, but if are going to stay to together you are going to have to clean up your act.